The urge to spill the tea isn’t new. From ancient Mesopotamian tablets filled with juicy tidbits to the scandalous whispers of Gossip Girl, humans have always loved a good story. In fact, researchers suggest that gossip may have played a crucial role in early human societies, fostering social bonds and enforcing norms. 1 But with new technologies and platforms, the stakes are higher than ever before.

Gutenberg’s printing press in 1450 kicked gossip into overdrive,2 and by the 1800s, we had full-fledged gossip columns thanks to folks like Louella Parsons (Hearst’s gal pal, for those keeping score). Fast forward to today, and social media is the ultimate gossip mill. Deuxmoi’s anonymous tips and the rise of “tea” accounts have normalized a level of public scrutiny that’s borderline creepy. It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt, and that’s where we need to draw the line.

Take the recent case of Aura founder, Lima Omar/Mora/Jevremovic situation, brought to light by BJ Investigations.3 The girl’s got hustle, but her ever-changing pitch and sketchy answers about finances? Major red flags. It shows that even when you’re trying to do good, the internet can twist your words and intentions.

The pressure to perform under constant scrutiny is real. One wrong move, and you’re canceled. It’s like a real-life “Gossip Girl,” but with way higher stakes.

And then there’s the ethics of it all. Using tech for mental health is awesome, but Aura’s VR therapy experiment gone wrong? Tragic. It reminds us that the “move fast and break things” mindset can have devastating consequences, especially when it comes to people’s well-being.

”Learning in public” can be great for feedback and growth, but it’s a tightrope walk. Honesty and consistency are key. But also, keep some things private, like your dating history - unless you’re on a reality show, no one needs to know.

I respect investigative content creators who dig deep and hold people accountable, but we gotta be critical consumers. Not all “tea” is worth spilling, and misinformation can be damaging.

So, the takeaway? “Learning in public” is powerful, but it’s a high-stakes game. Transparency and integrity are non-negotiable. Above all, let’s use our voices online to build, not to tear down. The internet can be a force for good, and that’s the narrative we need to champion.

Footnotes

  1. Gossip Evolution Dunbar, R. I. M. (2004). Gossip in evolutionary perspective. Review of General Psychology, 8(2), 100-110.

  2. The History of Gossip Columns. Shondaland.

  3. Virtual Reality Hell: The Amanda Rabb Story